Inuyasha how to's
by Royal Fishy Nat
Summary: The Inuyasha gang tells us how to do things.
1. Teachings from Kanna

Inuyasha How To's?  
  
Chapter 1 How to steal souls (teachings from Kanna)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha if I did I wouldn't be writing this  
  
Kanna: Stealing Souls is a simple task for me, but you aren't me. So I will tell you how to steal souls in 6 easy steps. You will need a few thing for this project so read everything or you will fail.  
  
Things Needed for this project: A. Telepathy B.Mirror(Can be replaced with vial, box, or a package of instant ramen) C. A magic book of powerful spells D. Ability to keep a straight face. E. Power F. Be a demon, hanyou, or some powerful religious person  
  
1. Always keep a straight face. Emotionlesness scares the people and draws their souls tworards you.  
  
2. Get some place to keep the souls that you are stealing I use my mirror but other objects will work as long as the souls can't get out. Objects may inclued a vial, a box, or a package of ramen that you stole from Kagome.  
  
3. Be powerful with spells and know spells from ancient books. This will be used so that you may make you object capable of stealing souls  
  
4. Once your object has the power to hold souls you must learn how to call souls to your object. By this I don't mean you say here souls, come here. You must telapatically tell the souls that you and your object are better than the mortal body they are in.  
  
5. When the souls leave the body hold out your object to welcome them or they will realize your trying to steal them and return to the body.  
  
6. Once the souls are inside put a spell to trap the soul in there forever  
  
If you follow these step you will be stealing souls in no time. And remember it might take a while to work.  
  
If you have a short attention span go to www.soul-stealing-lessons.com  
  
(Note: If this method doesn't work you may steal souls and eat them with trainer Kikyo's help at 1-800-Undead-Miko-Who-Steals-Souls-And-Eats-Them or visit their website at www.Undead.Miko.Soul.Stealer.com)  
  
AN: Okay if that number or the websites is yours I'm sorry I didn't know they existed. Now Review....please. 


	2. Teachings from Inuyasha

Inuyasha How To's How to Eat Ramen from Inuyasha(This was a request from Inuluvskaglotslots)  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own anyone from InuyashaT.T  
  
Inuyasha:Feh... They want ME to teach you ningens how to eat ramen One sec now. SEE KAGOME I CAN SOUND LIKE MY BROTHER!!!!! Now as I was saying I'm going to teach you all how to eat Kagome's instant ramen.  
  
1.Well First you get Kagome to buy you some.... Or if she won't cause she's a ugly miko You just go buy it yourself. Now I perfer the instant brands but you can home cook it yourself if you have the right ingredents.  
  
2. Now once you buy the ramen you start to cook itbut first you need a fire so you build one by setting sticks and crud on fire. Cause I honestly don't know how to build a fire anymore because I'm out of practice ever since Kagome brought those "matches" or whatever they're called. So anyway once you start a fire you get a pan or a bowl made of clay or something. So you can put the package near the fire without killing yourself.  
  
Inuyasha: Feh... This is so stupid why am doing this I'll never know  
  
Kagome: Because if you don't you don't get any ramen for dinner remember?  
  
Inuyasha: Oh yeah mutters to himself about stupid girls  
  
Kagome: Inuyasha?  
  
Inuyasha: Yeah  
  
Kagome: SIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Inuyasha gets up so he can go back to teaching how to make instant ramen.  
  
Okay so once you cook it you wait until it smells edible then you take it off the fire to sit for a few minutes. Then when you can't stand waiting anylonger you dig in.  
  
3. Now here's the fun part once you open it you can eat it many different ways. Now I personally suggest the way most annoying to your companions, But be careful not to get sat because your deliciouss ramen will spill all over you.  
  
4. When your done you must dispose of the can there are many ways to do this without polluting the enviorment for us demons. Such as Giving it to Kanna(See Chapter 1), Using it as a weapon and throwing it at Naraku, Giving it to Kouga and telling him it's a gift from Kagome, Making it a play toy for Kilala, or hiding itin Shessomaru's fluff when he isn't looking.  
  
5. Once the can is diposed of repeat steps 1-4 during every meal, or even when you want a snack.  
  
Thanks to Inuluvskaglotslots for the idea and everyone else who reviewed keep them coming. . 


	3. Teachings From Shessomaru

Hi everyone I'm so happy I'm getting reviews(Yeah I am new). So now on to chapter 3 which is teachings from Shessomaru on How to Kill Your Annoying Hanyou Half Brother. Shessomaru:.......... Rin:Please Shessomaru-Sama do this for mePuppy dog eyes  
  
Shessomaru:Fine I'm going to teach you ignorant little ningens how to kill your annoying hanyou half brother. So listen closely because I won't repeat myself.  
  
1. When your father tells you that him and your step mother are going to have a baby. You find a dagger because you know that because your step mother is human it will be a half demon, But don't killed the insolent child yet you must not do that for your father's rath will be great besides he's not even born yet.  
  
2. Once he's born you try to poison him and make sure your father doesn't have antidote cause that is where I failed grr... I WILL KILL YOU INUYASHA!!!!!!!!  
  
Rin:Shessomaru-Sama pwease do this for me. Shessomaru: Gives Signature Death Glare to Rin  
  
3.Now as I was saying if you fail that time you wait because eventually your father who betrayed your mother for a human will die and then you will get a sword and claim your venge on this now obnoxious half brother.  
  
4. Once you have a sword and are trained you must challage your stupid hanyou brother, But be sure to kill him because he will come back that is if you manage to defeat him in your limited time scheduele.  
  
5. Keep returning until you succeed and always to remember to have a backup plan I will tell you my next plan of attack so it may help you form your own Shessomaru's new plan: I Shessomaru Lord of The Western Lands will kidnap his mate Kagome and feed her to Ah and Un and my brother will be mad he will come to my castle/palace/thing where I will have the advantage he will be blind with rage weakening his mind so I may kill him.  
  
Rin:Yay Shessomaru-Sama did it! Shessomaru:Yes Rin but don't ever ask me to do that again or you will die. Rin:Yes Shessomaru-Sama 


	4. Teachings From Sango

AN: Hey Everyone I love these reviews. Thanks for your support anyway chapter 4 is now here and Sango is now teaching us. How to Knock Out a Perverted Monk (suggested by Sarah )  
  
Disclaimer:I don't own Inuyasha this wouldn't be a fanfiction if I did.  
  
Sango: Some Monks I won't mention any names glares at Miroku are being perverted so I'm going to teach girls how to knochk them out before some niave little girl gets prenant.  
  
1. Okay now don't think that ALL monks are perverts because that isn't true only most are perverts so don't knock out every monk you see. You must be aware though incase he gropes you so pay careful attention to his movements and be ready to knock him out.  
  
2. Now if he makes a move for your butt there are many things you can do to stop him but first you need a weapon or you will fail. Weapons may include: Rocks, Logs, Boomerrangs, Swords, Instant Ramen(Chapters 1 and 2), Pots, Pans, Backpacks, Mirrors, Shippo, or even your own hand.  
  
3. Once you have your weapon whatever it may be you now are ready to knock out your perverted monk but there are two different ways to knock him out from here one is using strength and the other is using magic.  
  
4. Once you have decided this you use magic to posess the item and thwack the monk to unconsisousness or you can use your weapon to thwack him into unconsiousness using your own strength.  
  
5.Once he is unconsious you get as far away from him as you can because next he'll be asking you to bear his children.  
  
Miroku sneaks up and gropes Sango Sango slaps him into unconsiousness See this is how it's done and no that wasn't planned anyway remember be aware of monks you never know when they will try to grope you.  
  
Miroku:Remember to Read and Review 


	5. Teachings From Kagome

AN:Hi Hi Everyone so many reviews I can hardly keep up anyway this chapter was suggested by Sarah, Xio the Dog Demoness, Kagome Higurashi, and supersecretsamuri007It' how to sit a dog demon. Anyway enjoy and review.  
  
Disclaimer: I don'town Inuyasha  
  
Kagome: Dog Demons can be a real hassle they pick fights, are stubborn, and never know what to say. So I'm here to tell you how to sit a dog demon I will go through all the steps so pay careful attention.  
  
Inuyasha:Feh...I'm not stubborn and I know the right things to say.  
  
Kagome:Inuyasha?  
  
Inuyasha:What?  
  
Kagome:SIT!!!!  
  
Hanyou shaped crater appears  
  
So where was I oh yes  
  
1. When you first start to have problems you must find an item to use so you can sit him items include:Beads, pants, or anything else that he will wear constantly.  
  
2. Once you have this item you must put a spell on it so that he can not take it off though if the item is his pants he probably wouldn't take them off anyway.  
  
3. Once you do this you get the item on him whether it be by force or Shippo putting it on him or by you giving it to him, It really doesn't matter as long as it happens  
  
Jaken:Rin take notes on this. This is valueable information.  
  
Rin:Shessomaru-Sama Jaken wants to sit you.  
  
Shessomaru: I will kill him later but now it is time to go  
  
the three leave  
  
Inuyasha:Feh... this is stupid eats instant ramen  
  
4. Now you just pick a word to say and he will have to obey it I read about a women who had to listen when a man said undress but anyway I use sit lay down probably works the same way.  
  
That is how you sit a dog demon.  
  
Inuyasha: That was stupid  
  
Kagome: Sit boy!  
  
Inuaysha:With black eye Rememeber to read and review 


	6. Teachings From Shippo

AN:Hey all thanks for the reviews Sorry if I'm slow putting up chapters because I have finals. This chapter was suggested by smile, Kagome Higurashi, and Xio the Dog Demoness it's called How to Annoy and Run From Inuyasha Teachings from Shippo  
  
Shippo: Kagome and Sango-Chan both got to teach stuff so now it's my turn. I'm going to teach everyone How to Annoy and Run From Inuyasha. So follow my steps.  
  
1. There are lots of ways to tick him off some ways are calling him names like hanyou scum, Half Breed, Idiot, Weakling, Loser and other names I personally find those names a bit rash other ways are to continuously ask him stupid questions that you already know the answer to or ask him questions that he doesn't know the answer to so he feels stupid.  
  
2. You'll know when you made him mad enough because he'll start chasing you like the stupid dog that he is.  
  
Inuyasha:twitch, twitch What was that Shippo  
  
Shippo:Ahhhhhhh Kagome Inuyasha is threating mesmirk  
  
Inuyasha:No I was...  
  
Kagome:Sit  
  
Inuyasha:n't  
  
3.Once he starts chasing you there are many ways to run and hide until he cools off like hding in small hollow logs, Kagomes' Backpack, Shessomaru's Fluffy, Naraku's Castle or any other place that is small or a maze.  
  
4. Once it is safe to come out repeat steps 1-3 over and over until you get bobbed in th head then you tell Kagome so he'll get sat. 


	7. AUTHOR's NOTE:READ NOW!

Hey everyone Guess What I'm not going to update for a few days guess what else when I checked my mail this morning I HAD 30 !% E-MAIL'S. I only read 2 but they were from Sarah. Now Sarah if you have any new ideas review them DO NOT E-MAIL me, that goes for all of you. I'm in deep trouble now so if this keeps up I'm blocking anyone who e-mails me I know it's there but PLEASE DON'T CLICK IT!!!!!!! 


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